The Thursday! Newsletter 1-3: Scary Bingo Ladies
Volume 1, Issue 3
Well, it's Thanksgiving.
We made it. We got this far. Who knew back in the heady and optimistic days of February that we would stumble into Thanksgiving looking like Herb Tarlek and the Big Guy at the end of that "WKRP In Cincinnati" episode? And don't you dare ask me which one. You know which one. As God is my witness you know which one!
We do have a lot for which to be thankful, though, stampede of angry 2020 Turkeys notwithstanding. I won't be that guy -- the scold who gives you all sorts of stink eye for not being a gushing geyser of gratitude -- because nobody likes that guy. I will, however, thank you for being here with me. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you gutted out a terrible year where terrible people did terrible things and managed to come out ahead. You're here with spirit and strength and laughter that that is, as I may have said before, pretty darned cool. So I'm glad. Thanks for that.
Thanks, also, for not being a scary Bingo lady.
I suppose that deserves a bit of explanation. In my regular travels, I go past a couple places that regularly host bingo games. Due to the Wuhan, those games haven't happened like they used to, but they're coming back on a more or less regular schedule. Every Friday, the local Jaycees Hall hosts a Bingo night and, for the past month or so, I've contemplated stopping by and taking part. It's good to get out and about, to mingle with folks you don't know. You might even make a friend or two. You'll certainly make those social connections that used to be quite valuable until last April. I was game to try and I figured Bingo is easy enough, right? They call you number, you stamp the number if you have it, and if you get Bingo you yell "BINGO!"
Except, no. That's not quite how it goes. I remembered something very important about bingo halls. Bingo halls have old Bingo Ladies. And old Bingo Ladies are scary.
I don't want to cast aspersions at any specific person who plays bingo so regularly they have their very own bingo gear -- like their very own stamp and a special bingo outfit (I even knew someone who had special lucky bingo shoes and I am not even joking around here), but...well...look. Scary Bingo Ladies are like old gunfighters, except that old gunfighters try very hard to stay out of gunfights. A Scary Bingo Lady will go right upside your head in a hot second if you ask the caller what the last number was because you can't handle your five cards as fast as everyone else. Old gunfighters take on apprentices to teach them The Way of the Gun. Scary Bingo Ladies burn fools to ash who get a little too excited and call "BINGO" a bit too early.
And they brawl. I don't mean they yell insults and shove each other like drunk guys outside a dance club. I mean they go from hard looks and verbal warnings to full-on rabid wolverine in a phone booth in exactly zero time.
In short, you don't mess with Scary Bingo Ladies and I'm not about to walk into my local Catholic church hall, whistling a jaunty tune, and ask where the purple marker stamps are. Because I like my spleen exactly where it is, thank you very much.
But let's get back to Thanksgiving. It has become a "thing" over the past decade or so to give Thanksgiving the cynical treatment. I get it. It isn't exactly cool to openly and honestly express gratitude for something even while you are well aware of that thing's failings. Thanksgiving wasn't all the history books say it was. The Pilgrims were not saints. Not at all. But they were strong enough to value their freedom to worship in the church of their choosing more than they valued their own lives. They were brave enough to act on their beliefs. They were not always smart nor were they always wise. They failed to live up to all of their beliefs and values more than once. But they did live up to them quite a lot. They did pass on the values they held sacred to people who did an even better job of living up to them. They passed on resilience and stubbornness in the face of hardship. And they lived through a few seasons of withering illness. They were human and did what humans do -- good and bad.
Here's the thing, though. Without them we wouldn't have Catholic churches here in which to host bingo nights. Or civic groups like the Jaycees or Moose or Optimists. They made wonderful things possible -- more wonderful things than they could have ever imagined. Without them, we would be...less. We would not be us. And I rather like us. In fact, I rather like us a lot. I'm grateful for a lot of things this year -- my family, the friends to whom I've grown closer through the difficulties the year has thrown at us, God Almighty, the Pilgrims who came here looking for a place to worship, and you. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful that you think I'm worth your time and your trouble. I'm grateful that you've read this far. And I'm grateful that you dig what I'm doing here despite my faults.
Kind of like being thankful for having a place for bingo nights even if there are some Scary Bingo Ladies.
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. Thank you.
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Here are the Arts and/or the Letters I Promised...
Purple flower, purple flower
Strong with pollenacious power
That makes me sniff and sneeze, and glower.
What's up with that, you silly blossom?
Purple flower, purple flower,
You'll be missed come winter's hour.
When sleet and snow, and freezing shower
Make gladsome moods fall and play possum.
Purple flower, purple flower,
And your friends upon the bower,
Memories of you are how our
Spirits will stay merry and awesome!
-- Text and Picture by Me. Originally posted on Instagram, where I put various pictures I find interesting.
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Here are Links, Either Useful or Fun
This is not a paid ad but I thought you'd like to know that Masterclass is running it's BOGO sale until November 30. You buy a one-year subscription at $180 and you get a second subscription to give away. Or, you know, you find a friend or newsletter writer who might want a subscription and you each kick in $90. Whichever.
I found this video of Terry Gilliam explaining how he made the animations for Monty Python's Flying Circus, and why they were the way they were, fascinating.
Congratulations! You're an expert!
You know what might liven up your working and schooling and dining at home days? Paper airplanes! Seriously. That link is a treasure trove of paper airplane plans you don't need to be an actual engineer to build.
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One Last Thing
If you'd like to talk back to me, encourage me, suggest something you'd like to see or you'd like me to write about, you can always hit the reply button! I can't promise I'll always answer back, because I'm quite forgetful, but I'll read everything you send.
Remember, Thursday! is a constant work in progress. I didn't have a certain plan for what I wanted the newsletter to be when I started, so it'll change as we go along. Let me know what you like so I know I'm getting it right, okay? Okay!